Meni's To Do List

"Started around 1998, so kinda dated" — but here it is, preserved for posterity.

• Erin Andrews, my favorite sideline reporter, what a chest, what a face, what an ass
• Jordan from that MTV Sorority show, She's MINT
• Summer Altice, heard her on Stern, pic, damn she is HOT
• Eliza Dushku from "Bring it On"
• Erika Christensen from "Traffic"
• Linda Cardellini, Velma in Scooby Doo pic
• Sarah, from Survivor, nice figure
• Chick In "Jeepers Creepers"
• Chick In "Planet of the Apes"
• Blond Chick in "Queer as Folk"
• Kim Catrall while the one who looks like Ruth Buzzi watches
• Chick who used to play bass in Hole, Melissa something
• Stern's gf Beth, who is using Stern to further her career, you go girl!
• Chick in "40 Days 40 Nights", Shannyn Sossamon, lets throw Josh in the sack too, hee hee
• Chick on "Undeclared" who was in FHM, or Stuff, or Maxim, all the same right?
• Chick on "The Fast & Furious" who was bangin Vin Diesel
• Vin Diesel, just kidding
• Chick on Regis and Kelly, replacement, not Kathy
• Shakira, but I don't know any of her songs, I hate MTV
• Mandy Moore, when she's blonde
• James King, while I call her Jimmy
• Chick at Dunkin Donuts drive thru, on Second St.
• Chick in Coyote Ugly that likes to fight, brunette one
• Rachel Leigh Cook cuz she looks good sometimes
• Redhead from 'That 70s Show'
• Piper from Coyote Ugly, by the way, the movie SUCKS
• Any chick on the Maxim Hot 100
• Peg Bundy
• The hot chick from Survivor 2, Amy?
• Drea de Matteo, Chris's girlfriend on 'The Sopranos'
• The hot chick from Temptation Island, Billy's bitch, what's her name?
• Julia Stiles, chick in "Save the Last Dance"
• Jules Asner, chick on E!, while we are both on E
• Molly Ringwald, now, not from Sixteen Candles
• Larisa Oleynik from "10 Things I Hate About You"
• Chick in American Beauty, the one who wanted tits
• Soccer chick who took off her shirt when they won
• Mia Hamm, the other soccer chick
• Most US women's soccer team girls
• Chick in Destiny's Child, the middle one whose daddy manages the group
• Dennis Rodman in a wedding dress
• Jenna from Survivor
• Jessica Simpson
• Carson Daly, I'd make him my prison bitch
• Muhammed Ali's daughter, the one who boxes
• Guitarist chick from Kittie, Fallon Bowman
• Kirsten Dunst, man she is hot
• Saffron Burrows, hot chick from Deep Blue Sea
• Joana Prado, chick who plays a Genie on a Brazilian TV Show
• Leslie Stefanson, chick in 'The General's Daughter'
• Sandra Nasic, lead singer of 'Guano Apes', German band
• Taye Diggs, just kidding
• Nicole Kidman, finally started thinking she was hot
• Ali Larter, hot chick from Varsity Blues
• Pam Anderson, she's back with Tommy, natural again, she's dropping
• Shannon Elizabeth, chick in 'American Pie'
• Ricky Martin, just kidding
• Anna Kournikova, sorry Pavel
• Stephanie McMahon, she'll be worth trillions
• Britney Spears
• Chick on 'Saving Private Ryan', granddaughter or something in cemetery, blonde
• Jaime Pressly, formerly known as 'That blonde in "Can't Hardly Wait"', nice rack, face
• Claire Danes, with her 'Mod Squad' hairdo
• Janine Lindemulder
• Shirley Manson of Garbage
• Debbie Harry, when I was 14
• Lin Shaye, Magda from 'Something About Mary'
• Jessica Lange, King Kong, when I was 11
• Natasha Lyonne
• Sarah Silverman, originally from around here
• Jordanna Brewster, chick from 'The Faculty'
• Buffy with Felicity Watching
• My 5th grade teacher, when I was in 5th grade
• All the chicks JoeE has done
• All the chicks Donny has done
• Rachel Blanchard from the Clueless TV Show
• Houston, the pornstar, not the city
• Kimberly Paul
• Cori Nadine, I love that tilted head poolside shot!
• Bea Arthur
• The rest of the Golden Girls
• Tyra Banks
• Princess Di, shit, sorry
• The lead singer of an all-girl Swedish metal band, found out who she is
• Victoria of the Spice Girls
• Robin Quivers from Howard Stern
• Howard in a dress
• Monica Lewinsky, for the celeb value
• Raquel Darrian
• Raquel Welch, back in the 70s
• The chick that looks like Marcia Brady
• Marcia Brady, circa 1976
• Teri Lynn Doss, Playboy, circa 1988
• Any chick that was a centerfold in Playboy
• Any chick that was a centerfold in Penthouse
• Gillian Andersen
• My homeroom teacher in 8th grade
• Tonya Harding & Nancy Kerrigan, 3-some
• Chick @ Dunkin Donuts Drive Thru in Londonderry, NH
• Cindy Margolis
• Mrs. Howell from Gilligan's Island
• Ginger
• Mary Ann
• Natasha Henstridge, the chick from Species
• Stephanie Seymour, with Axl Rose crying in the corner
• Ms. Claus
• Mother Nature
• Jenny Jones, when she had big hair and fake tits
• Cindy Crawford
• Paulina Porizkova
• Kiana, the chick from Bodyshaping
• Whisper from the Nitro Girls
• All The Nitro Girls
• Sonny, now Tammy Lynn something from ECW
• Sable, while she's suing the WWF
• Jennifer Connelly
• The chick in 'The Cube', the teen
• Stacey Valentine
• Victoria Silver-something, Playmate of the Year last year?
• Miss America
• Famke Janssen
• Cory Everson
• Tonya Knight, back in '88
• Lenda Murray too
• Francine from ECW
• Linda Evangelista, even though my ex thinks she's ugly
• Katarina Witt, while in her skating outfit
• Charlize Theron, who looks like Ashley Judd
• Ashley Judd
• 2 chicks on Dawson's Creek
• Mira Sorvino
• The chicks from 'Friends'
• Whoever makes it to the Hawaiian Tropic Finals
• Cher
• Madonna
• Carmen Electra
• Denise Richards, in the pool
• Carol O'Connor, shit, that's a dude, FORGET IT
• The Tushy Girls
• Nikki Cox on that UPN/WB show with the big rack
• Mariah Carey, now that she's nuts
• Lara Flynn Boyle
• Elizabeth Hurley
• Fawcett, back in 1977
• Vivica A. Fox
• Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders
• Courtney Love
• Debbie Gibson, back in 1990
• Bananarama, back in 1987
• Jennifer Love Hewitt
• Neve Campbell
• The chick from 'The Craft' with nice full lips, and 'The Waterboy'
• Joan Rivers
• Melissa Rivers
• Joan Jett, back in 1984
• Lisa Marie Presley
• Cameron Diaz
• Salma Hayek
• Sheryl Lee, hooker in John Carpenter's 'Vampires'
• Theresa Russell
• Both chicks from Weird Science, movie & TV show
• Kate Winslet, slimming down, I like the accent
• Sofie Formica, TV.com host
• Katrina Owens, used to be on QVC, 1991
• Chick who played Hope on 'Days of our Lives', circa 1987
• Carol Alt, Super Model
• Howard's hottest intern
• Jackie Martling's wife
• The chick who played Howard's wife
• Aaliyah
• Halle Berry
• Tea Leoni
• Jenna Elfman
• Christina Applegate
• Alyssa Milano, now, don't sue me
• Jenny McCarthy
• Elle McPherson
• Liv Tyler, with Bruce Willis walking in
• Elizabeth Shue, in Las Vegas, while drunk
• Phoebe Cates, Fast Times
• Jennifer Jason Leigh
• Angelina Jolie, but not if Jon Voight disapproves
• Gwen Stefani, while she sings "Don't Speak"
• Gwyneth Paltrow, while she calls me 'Brad'
• Serena Altshul, before haircut
• The chick in "Thriller" video
• NYC cop who got fired for posing
• Janeane Garofalo
• Jami Gertz, 1987, 'The Lost Boys'
• Lisa Spoonhauer, Caitlin Bree in 'Clerks'
• Heather Graham
• Stephanie Ittelson, Vegas waitress in 'Swingers'
• Brooke Langton, Nikki in 'Swingers'
• Sharon Stone, 1992, 'Basic Instinct'
• Bridgette Wilson, in 'Billy Madison'
• Gina Gershon
• Aunt Ester
• Elizabeth Berkley
• Queen Elizabeth
• Elizabeth Montgomery, 1973
• Elizabeth Taylor, 1965
• Nell Carter
• Niki Taylor
• Linda Tripp
• Marge Simpson
• Betty Rubble
• Catherine Zeta-Jones, 'Mask Of Zorro'
• Nastassja Kinski, one night stand
• The cast of 'The Facts of Life', including Natalie and Mrs. G
• Eva Gabor, 1965, 'Green Acres'
• Barbara Eden, 1968, 'I Dream Of Jeannie'
• Billie Jo, Bobbie Jo, and Betty Jo, 'Petticoat Junction'
• Suzanne Somers
• Laurie Donnelly
• Debra McMichaels, sorry Mongo, I'm only human
• Amy Fahdi
• Demi Moore, 'Striptease'
• Bridgette Bardot, before I was born
• Jasmine, one of the Videosecrets Girls
• Apollonia Kotero
• Vanity, before she was 'reborn'
• Bo Derek, back in '10
• The Gruesome Twosome, Marge's sisters
• Bridgette Fonda, 'Point of No Return'
• Kelly McGillis, 'Top Gun'
• Melanie Griffith, in the movie where she's a hooker
• Nicole Eggert
• Penny Price, former bodybuilder, circa 1989
• Jennifer Lopez
• Michelle Pfeiffer, Grease 2
• Olivia Newton-John, Grease
• Blonde chick from 'Too Close For Comfort'
• The mother from 'Too Close For Comfort'
• Ann Heche, while Ellen watches
• Chick from 'Doritos' commercial
• Phyllis George, football
• Shania Twain
• All the fembots
• Mary Jo, killed at beginning of 'Disturbing Behavior'
• Mom at the rest area in 'Halloween H20'
• Marley Shelton, played Brooke in 'Trojan War'
• Rhona Mitra, plays Lara Croft at gaming shows